After many years of commuting to the city for work, I grew to detest snow--period. I didn't even want to see as much as a few snowflakes on Christmas. I hated snow because it meant driving on treacherous roads, freezing at a bus stop or having to shovel my car out of it. I dreaded walking down the city sidewalks just to be splashed all over with dirty snow.
But today I actually like snow—even though I still have to drive to work in it as well as shovel and scrape it from my car.
How on earth did this transformation occur? Well, I re-programed my mind! Some days it’s still hard for me to believe it. Here’s how I did it, even though it was not my goal at the time…
One morning on a day off from work, I wanted to really, really enjoy myself. I wanted to relax, empty my mind, and spend a little quiet time de-stressing. I lit several scented candles and played some soft music. I dressed in something warm and cozy, poured a cup of fresh coffee and sat down in my favorite chair. As I sat there facing the window, I saw the snow beginning to fall. It wasn’t coming down hard and fast, but it wasn’t a light flurry, either. It was coming down steadily at a good pace and was “sticking.”
Here’s the amazing part: gazing at the snowfall, I felt so peaceful. Because of the comfortable atmosphere I had created for myself, watching the snow come down did not evoke feelings of anxiety or stress. To this day—years later—I get a sense of peace and relaxation whenever it snows. My mind continues to associate those positive emotions I had experienced that day with the falling snow.
And guess what? I purposefully reprogrammed myself to enjoy the rain, too. Despite the fact I had been stranded for six hours on the highway due to flooding, the feelings I had from that unpleasant experience are no longer triggered whenever it rains. Instead, I love listening to the sound of the rain and I enjoy watching it, too.
So what does this all mean? It means we can help ourselves feel better. We have the power to replace negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones. Now, I realize that feelings about rain and snow do not compare to things in our lives that are traumatic and frightening—unless you were injured or endangered by severe weather conditions. Nevertheless, the ability to recover, feel better and become healthy again is very real. Depending on your own situation, it may take longer to accomplish this.
If you suffer from depression, anxiety, constant worrying and negative thinking, you probably feel hopeless and desperate, like it’s impossible to ever feel better. I’ve been there and I empathize with you. But take heart—hope, help and healing are all within your reach. Asking for professional help is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith, but quite the opposite. It takes strength and courage! Changing is hard work but extremely well worth it. Living in denial and doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Friday, July 11, 2014
Why Does It Hurt So Much?
Grief is something each of us has or will experience in our lives. It’s a crushing, deep hurt that feels like it will never go away. Now to answer the question…the reason grief is so painful is because not only are we flooded with powerful emotions, but our physical bodies are profoundly affected as well.
In addition to mental and emotional pain—which often involves shock, regret, anxiety, confusion and even guilt—our physical selves experience sleeplessness, difficulty breathing, headaches, loss of appetite, digestive dysfunction and more. Think about it…each of these things alone can be debilitating. Now put them all together and it’s not surprising that our suffering is so great.
It’s also important to take notice of symptoms that indicate “abnormal” grieving, or that the grief has evolved into clinical depression. Although everyone has his/her own way of grieving—and there is no “set time” for the grieving process to last—there are things we can look for that may point to serious problems on the horizon.
For example…let’s say it’s been months since your friend has suffered the loss of someone she was very close to. You are surprised by the disheveled way she looks. You are troubled by her increasing alcohol consumption. She is barely able to function or focus on day-to-day activities, often staying in bed for days at a time. In fact, her loss is the only thing she focuses on. It’s obvious she is consumed by hopelessness and sadness. She barely leaves the house or associates with anyone—even her family and best friends.
The fact is that normal grieving lessens over time—not worsens. Without help, a person suffering from some or all of the behaviors described above may become suicidal. Under these circumstances, professional counseling is essential. A trained counselor will help you to gain coping skills and begin to heal. Recovery may seem impossible, but it definitely is not!
OK, what if it’s been three months since your loss, and although it still hurts a lot, you feel you are slowly moving forward. Why is it still helpful to join a grief support group?
When grieving the death of a loved one, we face difficult adjustments—behaviorally and socially, too.
If you (or someone you care about) are grieving, joining a grief support group can help you:
• Understand your emotional reactions and work through these adjustments
• Feel safe to express yourself in a supportive, caring environment
• Learn to practice self-care and manage your life as you journey through the healing process
Remember, the other people participating in the group are in the same boat as you. And although the environment is comfortable and informal, sessions are structured and purposeful. The goal is to empower you to gain an understanding of the grieving process and learn how to cope and move forward in normal, healthy ways. Learn about Samaritan’s upcoming, free Grief Support Group or contact us at info@samaritancounseling.net or 412.741.7430
Feelings of sadness and loneliness due to loss, or heightened anxiety as we try to balance work, spending, travel plans and events are normal. Taking a few moments each day to pray, practice mindfulness, breathe deeply and focus on what’s most important in our lives will relieve those feelings and motivate us to move forward.
But for those who suffer from debilitating conditions like depression, phobias, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolarity and other serious conditions, the solution is not so simple. To make matters worse, people dealing with these issues may be caught up in a cycle of abuse, poverty or severe anger and behavioral problems—within themselves, family members or in the workplace.
Remember—mental or emotional pain is very real. It quite often interferes with daily living, impairing one’s thoughts, decisions, reactions and ability to function.
How do you know if you or someone you care about needs professional help? Sometimes it is difficult to know for sure—especially since the sufferer’s thoughts and feelings are already impaired.
Nevertheless, there are things to look for. Signs of depression include withdrawal, frequent crying, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, fatigue, insomnia or sleeping too long. There are many types of anxiety disorders—and sometimes depression is accompanied by anxiety. People with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) react more intensely than a situation warrants. They are unable to relax; they startle easily and have problems concentrating. Physical symptoms can include fatigue, headaches, aching muscles, difficulty swallowing, twitching, lightheadedness and feeling out of breath. Panic attacks cause sudden bouts of sweatiness/dizziness/breathlessness and rapid heart pounding. PTSD symptoms can include nightmares, flashbacks, acts of aggression or violence. (nimh.nih.gov)
The things mentioned above are just the tip of the iceberg. Only a healthcare professional can properly diagnose and treat mental disorders. But recognizing that something is wrong and seeking help are the key first steps toward coping, healing and reclaiming health and happiness in your life. Don’t wait. Act now!
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) provides a wealth of information. Visit www.nimh.nih.gov to learn more.
Beth Healey, Director of Development and Marketing
In addition to mental and emotional pain—which often involves shock, regret, anxiety, confusion and even guilt—our physical selves experience sleeplessness, difficulty breathing, headaches, loss of appetite, digestive dysfunction and more. Think about it…each of these things alone can be debilitating. Now put them all together and it’s not surprising that our suffering is so great.
It’s also important to take notice of symptoms that indicate “abnormal” grieving, or that the grief has evolved into clinical depression. Although everyone has his/her own way of grieving—and there is no “set time” for the grieving process to last—there are things we can look for that may point to serious problems on the horizon.
For example…let’s say it’s been months since your friend has suffered the loss of someone she was very close to. You are surprised by the disheveled way she looks. You are troubled by her increasing alcohol consumption. She is barely able to function or focus on day-to-day activities, often staying in bed for days at a time. In fact, her loss is the only thing she focuses on. It’s obvious she is consumed by hopelessness and sadness. She barely leaves the house or associates with anyone—even her family and best friends.
The fact is that normal grieving lessens over time—not worsens. Without help, a person suffering from some or all of the behaviors described above may become suicidal. Under these circumstances, professional counseling is essential. A trained counselor will help you to gain coping skills and begin to heal. Recovery may seem impossible, but it definitely is not!
OK, what if it’s been three months since your loss, and although it still hurts a lot, you feel you are slowly moving forward. Why is it still helpful to join a grief support group?
When grieving the death of a loved one, we face difficult adjustments—behaviorally and socially, too.
If you (or someone you care about) are grieving, joining a grief support group can help you:
• Understand your emotional reactions and work through these adjustments
• Feel safe to express yourself in a supportive, caring environment
• Learn to practice self-care and manage your life as you journey through the healing process
Remember, the other people participating in the group are in the same boat as you. And although the environment is comfortable and informal, sessions are structured and purposeful. The goal is to empower you to gain an understanding of the grieving process and learn how to cope and move forward in normal, healthy ways. Learn about Samaritan’s upcoming, free Grief Support Group or contact us at info@samaritancounseling.net or 412.741.7430
Feelings of sadness and loneliness due to loss, or heightened anxiety as we try to balance work, spending, travel plans and events are normal. Taking a few moments each day to pray, practice mindfulness, breathe deeply and focus on what’s most important in our lives will relieve those feelings and motivate us to move forward.
But for those who suffer from debilitating conditions like depression, phobias, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolarity and other serious conditions, the solution is not so simple. To make matters worse, people dealing with these issues may be caught up in a cycle of abuse, poverty or severe anger and behavioral problems—within themselves, family members or in the workplace.
Remember—mental or emotional pain is very real. It quite often interferes with daily living, impairing one’s thoughts, decisions, reactions and ability to function.
How do you know if you or someone you care about needs professional help? Sometimes it is difficult to know for sure—especially since the sufferer’s thoughts and feelings are already impaired.
Nevertheless, there are things to look for. Signs of depression include withdrawal, frequent crying, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, fatigue, insomnia or sleeping too long. There are many types of anxiety disorders—and sometimes depression is accompanied by anxiety. People with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) react more intensely than a situation warrants. They are unable to relax; they startle easily and have problems concentrating. Physical symptoms can include fatigue, headaches, aching muscles, difficulty swallowing, twitching, lightheadedness and feeling out of breath. Panic attacks cause sudden bouts of sweatiness/dizziness/breathlessness and rapid heart pounding. PTSD symptoms can include nightmares, flashbacks, acts of aggression or violence. (nimh.nih.gov)
The things mentioned above are just the tip of the iceberg. Only a healthcare professional can properly diagnose and treat mental disorders. But recognizing that something is wrong and seeking help are the key first steps toward coping, healing and reclaiming health and happiness in your life. Don’t wait. Act now!
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) provides a wealth of information. Visit www.nimh.nih.gov to learn more.
Beth Healey, Director of Development and Marketing
Monday, June 30, 2014
Silent Samaritan program
Dear Friends,
Are you familiar with our Silent Samaritan program that subsidizes care for women in need? If you’re asking yourself why this is so important or how you can possibly help, we have the answers for you.
Approximately 65% of Samaritan’s clients are women. We provide subsidized care to at least half of these women because they do not have the resources to pay. Why are so many women in urgent need of counseling? Consider these facts:
Depression affects approximately 12 million U.S. women a year.
About 1 in 8 women can expect to face depression in her lifetime, most likely during age 25-44. Depression is not however, a “normal experience” or a “female weakness;” it is a legitimate mental health issue that can be successfully treated.
Anxiety disorders often accompany depression. The Anxiety Disorders Association of America reports that, “women are twice as likely as men to suffer from anxiety.”
Now you maybe asking, why is this the case? Well, multiple sources estimate that 250,000 American women suffer abuse each year. Furthermore, 22 million women in the U.S. have been raped in their lifetime (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010). Also, women are 29% more likely to be poor (National Council for Research on Women). All these factors create the perfect storm for risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
This is where we come in: here at Samaritan we offer exceptional care for the psychological and emotional damage caused by these devastating conditions and more. According to Samaritan’s Clinical Director…“Women are still doing too much. They’re taking care of everyone but themselves, which leaves them depleted and exhausted. Additionally, many women are carrying around unresolved traumas from their past, afraid to ‘voice their wounds.’”
It is clear why women are being overwhelmed by mental health concerns like depression; they do not stop and take care of their own needs. But, taking care of self is often a financial nightmare for many women. We at Samaritan provide excellent care to all women in need, regardless of their ability to pay. However, we cannot do this alone. We need your help to continue to provide outstanding subsidized care to women in need—hence, Silent Samaritan Program.
Through the Silent Samaritan program, caring people contribute funds to help subsidize counseling fees for women in crisis who cannot afford to pay. You do not have to be affluent to help; our Lord calls us all to help those in need anyway we can. There are many different levels of giving if you want to take part in this important program. Learn more!
Help women in need to “voice their wounds” and overcome depression and more. Become a Silent Samaritan today!
With hope & healing,
Via
Are you familiar with our Silent Samaritan program that subsidizes care for women in need? If you’re asking yourself why this is so important or how you can possibly help, we have the answers for you.
Approximately 65% of Samaritan’s clients are women. We provide subsidized care to at least half of these women because they do not have the resources to pay. Why are so many women in urgent need of counseling? Consider these facts:
Depression affects approximately 12 million U.S. women a year.
About 1 in 8 women can expect to face depression in her lifetime, most likely during age 25-44. Depression is not however, a “normal experience” or a “female weakness;” it is a legitimate mental health issue that can be successfully treated.
Anxiety disorders often accompany depression. The Anxiety Disorders Association of America reports that, “women are twice as likely as men to suffer from anxiety.”
Now you maybe asking, why is this the case? Well, multiple sources estimate that 250,000 American women suffer abuse each year. Furthermore, 22 million women in the U.S. have been raped in their lifetime (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010). Also, women are 29% more likely to be poor (National Council for Research on Women). All these factors create the perfect storm for risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
This is where we come in: here at Samaritan we offer exceptional care for the psychological and emotional damage caused by these devastating conditions and more. According to Samaritan’s Clinical Director…“Women are still doing too much. They’re taking care of everyone but themselves, which leaves them depleted and exhausted. Additionally, many women are carrying around unresolved traumas from their past, afraid to ‘voice their wounds.’”
It is clear why women are being overwhelmed by mental health concerns like depression; they do not stop and take care of their own needs. But, taking care of self is often a financial nightmare for many women. We at Samaritan provide excellent care to all women in need, regardless of their ability to pay. However, we cannot do this alone. We need your help to continue to provide outstanding subsidized care to women in need—hence, Silent Samaritan Program.
Through the Silent Samaritan program, caring people contribute funds to help subsidize counseling fees for women in crisis who cannot afford to pay. You do not have to be affluent to help; our Lord calls us all to help those in need anyway we can. There are many different levels of giving if you want to take part in this important program. Learn more!
Help women in need to “voice their wounds” and overcome depression and more. Become a Silent Samaritan today!
With hope & healing,
Via
Friday, May 9, 2014
Article About Depression
I ran across a very interesting article about depression which presents many facts that everyone would benefit by knowing. What I found a bit unsettling were a lot of the comments that followed. There were, however, a few that were quite accurate. Depression is a disorder. It is real. It is painful. It is debilitating. Left untreated, depression is often deadly because the sufferer takes his/her own life. The good news is that depression is treatable. Medication and therapy relieve the awful symptoms and help sufferers stabilize and begin to recover. The stigma often associated with depression is one of the main reasons people may be reluctant to seek help. I am not surprised that--as the article indicates--more Americans die due to suicide than auto accidents. If you have never suffered from depression, or are not aware of the medical facts about this illness, you may have misconceptions about it. Depression is not: a normal part of life; a sign of weakness; occasionally feeling sad; always due to a person's circumstances. Famous people such as Eleanor Roosevelt and Winston Churchill suffered from it. If you or someone you know is exhibiting signs of depression, please do not ignore the symptoms and seek professional help. Life is too short and too precious not to!
Beth Healey, Director of Marketing and Development
Beth Healey, Director of Marketing and Development
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Hi Friends,
In the mental health field, one of our important tools of the trade is a thing called “Self Care”—taking time to take care of you. This is critical to having what we at Samaritan refer to as good life balance. Having good life balance not only helps you to de-stress, but it allows you to be healthier and happier in general. You can think of this as eight pieces of a pie: 1)Social life 2) Romance 3) Spiritual Life 4) Family Time 5) Career or Job 6) Finances 7) Rest & Relaxation and 8) Health and & Self Care.
Too much or too little of any of these eight areas will cause you to have a poor life balance. This may seem like it’s easier said than done to achieve, but we at Samaritan have a great way to check ourselves. Take this handy diagram and give yourself a score from 1-10 (1=poor; 10=great), basing your ratings on the amount of quality time and energy you devote to each area. Be honest! After placing the dots, connect them and look at the shape you’ve created. Ideally, you should have a bicycle tire shape; if not, know that the flat areas are the ones you need to work on. To “inflate” the flat sections of your tire, take out a sheet of paper and take some time to brainstorm ideas of what you can do to help yourself improve.
To me, self care means taking care of all areas of your life. If I had taken this test when talking with my mentor, my social life would have been about a zero. Today, I am proud to say it’s about a 6 or 7. When I was doing my brainstorming, I decided I wanted to take dance lessons. This took me a while to work on, because even though change is a natural part of life, it is not always easy. So, if you find yourself struggling to make a change, know you’re not alone. Give yourself grace and try to do better the next day, always taking it one day at a time. Knowing life balance tips changed my life, so I challenge you to take the bicycle tire quiz and see what it can do for you. Good luck my friends! To learn more, visit these fantastic articles: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/how-clinicians-balance-work-amd-life/ &
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201004/how-achieve-balance
Hope and healing,
Via
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Hello Friends,holding hands
According to Gary Demonte Chapman, a relationship counselor, author of The 5 Love Languages, and director of Marriage & Family Life Consultants, Inc. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/about/gary-chapman/ there are five love languages— the ways we demonstrate our love to others.
The first is acts of service—doing something for someone else. So, yes, doing the dishes for your significant other absolutely does say, “I love you!”
The second is gift giving, which is important not to confuse with materialism. The thoughtfulness that goes into gift giving says, “I love you!”
The third, physical touch, is a very common love language. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, ect. says, “I love you!” The right touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship, not just romantic.
The fourth, and my personal love language, is quality time. Nothing to me says, “I love you,” more then when someone sets aside time for a distraction free conversation or quality time for an activity like taking a walk together.
The fifth, and final love language is words of affirmation. For some people, hearing the words “I love you” means more than you know.
Even though these are tips for a happier marriage, this information can be useful to any couple or anyone in general. In any healthy relationship, romantic or otherwise, it is always important to know how to say, “I love you” in a way that the other person can understand and vice versa. So, if you want a happier relationship, I ask you to take a moment to reflect on what says, “I love you,” to you? Is it: actions, receiving gifts, touch, quality time or words or affirmations? Next, find out what it is for the other person by taking the time to have an honest conversation with him/her. You are now on your way to having a stronger, happier relationship.With hope and healing,
Via
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Hello Friends:
With hope and healing,
Via
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