Anyone who reads my writings knows that they tend to be upbeat and encouraging. Today, however, I am feeling sad for someone I care about. She is suffering from depression—but just cannot face it. I have explained to her that she should seek help to get better, but not only does she hate to go to doctors, but she continues to deny that there is anything mentally/emotionally wrong.
She will probably spend Christmas alone—not because she hasn’t been invited by her family—but because she chooses to isolate herself. I cannot recall the last time she has said anything positive. She never talks about having any friends, nor does she go anywhere except to work, the grocery store and the laundromat. As for having company or engaging in any conversations outside of work—I’m it.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to ever give up on her. I am going to continue to lovingly reach out. For instance, I am inviting her again to a Christmas gathering—even offering to take her home as soon as she wishes to leave.
If anyone reading this knows someone who is in denial and continues to suffer, whether it be from depression, addiction, PTSD, etc., I hope for your sake and theirs that they will see the light and seek professional help. This IS the season for miracles! Check out http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/05/08/9-best-ways-to-support-someone-with-depression/
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Be Happy in Spite of It All
As we sipped our coffee during one of our Thursday after-work get-togethers, a friend and I were talking about not-so-merry family issues that inevitably arise at holiday gatherings. Past hurts still lurking in people’s minds…sibling rivalries… the in-laws that don’t get along…the “big mouth”…the “Debbie Downers”…the show-offs…the folks that drink too much…no need to go on ‘cause I’m sure you get the picture. You’re probably thinking about the issues you know you’ll be facing in the days ahead.
As I shared with my friend, I have firmly decided that I am not going to let any situation detract from the spirit of Christmas. I am going to be happy! And I don’t mean by pretending that something uncomfortable really didn’t happen or by dealing with it in some other unhealthy way. I am going to put any indiscretion that may occur into a little box in my mind. The label on the box will say: The Imperfections of Being Human.
I can still be happy even when we humans display our faults and weaknesses. I can apply this attitude every day, not just on holidays. I can still be happy even though the world we live in is filled with injustice, pain and sorrow. I can still be happy and bring happiness to others in spite of it all. I’m determined to stay strong and stick to my goal.
And guess what? When I find myself slipping, I will forgive myself and move forward. When I feel sad or scared or nervous or angry, I will allow myself to feel those feelings because they are real and I am justified in feeling them. But then, I WILL MOVE FORWARD. I will always seek truth, happiness and love. I will make the most of this life God has given me.
I challenge anyone reading this to give it a try. Who knows, you may just become a happier person!
Check out this cool article on creating your own happiness…
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/08/21/5-small-ways-to-create-your-own-happiness/
As I shared with my friend, I have firmly decided that I am not going to let any situation detract from the spirit of Christmas. I am going to be happy! And I don’t mean by pretending that something uncomfortable really didn’t happen or by dealing with it in some other unhealthy way. I am going to put any indiscretion that may occur into a little box in my mind. The label on the box will say: The Imperfections of Being Human.
I can still be happy even when we humans display our faults and weaknesses. I can apply this attitude every day, not just on holidays. I can still be happy even though the world we live in is filled with injustice, pain and sorrow. I can still be happy and bring happiness to others in spite of it all. I’m determined to stay strong and stick to my goal.
And guess what? When I find myself slipping, I will forgive myself and move forward. When I feel sad or scared or nervous or angry, I will allow myself to feel those feelings because they are real and I am justified in feeling them. But then, I WILL MOVE FORWARD. I will always seek truth, happiness and love. I will make the most of this life God has given me.
I challenge anyone reading this to give it a try. Who knows, you may just become a happier person!
Check out this cool article on creating your own happiness…
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/08/21/5-small-ways-to-create-your-own-happiness/
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Ladies, are you still burning yourselves out?
More than half of Samaritan’s clients are women. We asked Martha Selleck, our Clinical Director, to talk about women’s greatest needs.
“Women are still doing too much! They’re taking care of everyone but themselves, which leaves them depleted and exhausted. Typically, the women we see are caring for kids and aging parents,working at a full time career plus volunteering and dealing with marriage issues.
“As a result, they’re suffering from anxiety and depression. Many turn to self-medicating with food or alcohol. They find themselves caught in a vicious cycle and don’t know how to stop it. We help women sort things out and learn how to find more time for themselves—including their spiritual growth.
“Also, many women are carrying around unresolved traumas from the past, afraid to ‘voice the wounds.’ They will tell us, ‘I’ve never told this to anyone!’ Things like sexual abuse are often revealed for the first time to their therapist. Once they come to the surface and are addressed, hope and healing can begin.”
“Women are still doing too much! They’re taking care of everyone but themselves, which leaves them depleted and exhausted. Typically, the women we see are caring for kids and aging parents,working at a full time career plus volunteering and dealing with marriage issues.
“As a result, they’re suffering from anxiety and depression. Many turn to self-medicating with food or alcohol. They find themselves caught in a vicious cycle and don’t know how to stop it. We help women sort things out and learn how to find more time for themselves—including their spiritual growth.
“Also, many women are carrying around unresolved traumas from the past, afraid to ‘voice the wounds.’ They will tell us, ‘I’ve never told this to anyone!’ Things like sexual abuse are often revealed for the first time to their therapist. Once they come to the surface and are addressed, hope and healing can begin.”
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Do You Realize How Powerful Your Own Mind Is?
After many years of commuting to the city for work, I grew to detest snow--period. I didn't even want to see as much as a few snowflakes on Christmas. I hated snow because it meant driving on treacherous roads, freezing at a bus stop or having to shovel my car out of it. I dreaded walking down the city sidewalks just to be splashed all over with dirty snow.
But today I actually like snow—even though I still have to drive to work in it as well as shovel and scrape it from my car.
How on earth did this transformation occur? Well, I re-programed my mind! Some days it’s still hard for me to believe it. Here’s how I did it, even though it was not my goal at the time…
One morning on a day off from work, I wanted to really, really enjoy myself. I wanted to relax, empty my mind, and spend a little quiet time de-stressing. I lit several scented candles and played some soft music. I dressed in something warm and cozy, poured a cup of fresh coffee and sat down in my favorite chair. As I sat there facing the window, I saw the snow beginning to fall. It wasn’t coming down hard and fast, but it wasn’t a light flurry, either. It was coming down steadily at a good pace and was “sticking.”
Here’s the amazing part: gazing at the snowfall, I felt so peaceful. Because of the comfortable atmosphere I had created for myself, watching the snow come down did not evoke feelings of anxiety or stress. To this day—years later—I get a sense of peace and relaxation whenever it snows. My mind continues to associate those positive emotions I had experienced that day with the falling snow.
And guess what? I purposefully reprogrammed myself to enjoy the rain, too. Despite the fact I had been stranded for six hours on the highway due to flooding, the feelings I had from that unpleasant experience are no longer triggered whenever it rains. Instead, I love listening to the sound of the rain and I enjoy watching it, too.
So what does this all mean? It means we can help ourselves feel better. We have the power to replace negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones. Now, I realize that feelings about rain and snow do not compare to things in our lives that are traumatic and frightening—unless you were injured or endangered by severe weather conditions. Nevertheless, the ability to recover, feel better and become healthy again is very real. Depending on your own situation, it may take longer to accomplish this.
If you suffer from depression, anxiety, constant worrying and negative thinking, you probably feel hopeless and desperate, like it’s impossible to ever feel better. I’ve been there and I empathize with you. But take heart—hope, help and healing are all within your reach. Asking for professional help is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith, but quite the opposite. It takes strength and courage! Changing is hard work but extremely well worth it. Living in denial and doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.
But today I actually like snow—even though I still have to drive to work in it as well as shovel and scrape it from my car.
How on earth did this transformation occur? Well, I re-programed my mind! Some days it’s still hard for me to believe it. Here’s how I did it, even though it was not my goal at the time…
One morning on a day off from work, I wanted to really, really enjoy myself. I wanted to relax, empty my mind, and spend a little quiet time de-stressing. I lit several scented candles and played some soft music. I dressed in something warm and cozy, poured a cup of fresh coffee and sat down in my favorite chair. As I sat there facing the window, I saw the snow beginning to fall. It wasn’t coming down hard and fast, but it wasn’t a light flurry, either. It was coming down steadily at a good pace and was “sticking.”
Here’s the amazing part: gazing at the snowfall, I felt so peaceful. Because of the comfortable atmosphere I had created for myself, watching the snow come down did not evoke feelings of anxiety or stress. To this day—years later—I get a sense of peace and relaxation whenever it snows. My mind continues to associate those positive emotions I had experienced that day with the falling snow.
And guess what? I purposefully reprogrammed myself to enjoy the rain, too. Despite the fact I had been stranded for six hours on the highway due to flooding, the feelings I had from that unpleasant experience are no longer triggered whenever it rains. Instead, I love listening to the sound of the rain and I enjoy watching it, too.
So what does this all mean? It means we can help ourselves feel better. We have the power to replace negative thoughts and feelings with positive ones. Now, I realize that feelings about rain and snow do not compare to things in our lives that are traumatic and frightening—unless you were injured or endangered by severe weather conditions. Nevertheless, the ability to recover, feel better and become healthy again is very real. Depending on your own situation, it may take longer to accomplish this.
If you suffer from depression, anxiety, constant worrying and negative thinking, you probably feel hopeless and desperate, like it’s impossible to ever feel better. I’ve been there and I empathize with you. But take heart—hope, help and healing are all within your reach. Asking for professional help is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith, but quite the opposite. It takes strength and courage! Changing is hard work but extremely well worth it. Living in denial and doing nothing is the worst thing you can do.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Why Does It Hurt So Much?
Grief is something each of us has or will experience in our lives. It’s a crushing, deep hurt that feels like it will never go away. Now to answer the question…the reason grief is so painful is because not only are we flooded with powerful emotions, but our physical bodies are profoundly affected as well.
In addition to mental and emotional pain—which often involves shock, regret, anxiety, confusion and even guilt—our physical selves experience sleeplessness, difficulty breathing, headaches, loss of appetite, digestive dysfunction and more. Think about it…each of these things alone can be debilitating. Now put them all together and it’s not surprising that our suffering is so great.
It’s also important to take notice of symptoms that indicate “abnormal” grieving, or that the grief has evolved into clinical depression. Although everyone has his/her own way of grieving—and there is no “set time” for the grieving process to last—there are things we can look for that may point to serious problems on the horizon.
For example…let’s say it’s been months since your friend has suffered the loss of someone she was very close to. You are surprised by the disheveled way she looks. You are troubled by her increasing alcohol consumption. She is barely able to function or focus on day-to-day activities, often staying in bed for days at a time. In fact, her loss is the only thing she focuses on. It’s obvious she is consumed by hopelessness and sadness. She barely leaves the house or associates with anyone—even her family and best friends.
The fact is that normal grieving lessens over time—not worsens. Without help, a person suffering from some or all of the behaviors described above may become suicidal. Under these circumstances, professional counseling is essential. A trained counselor will help you to gain coping skills and begin to heal. Recovery may seem impossible, but it definitely is not!
OK, what if it’s been three months since your loss, and although it still hurts a lot, you feel you are slowly moving forward. Why is it still helpful to join a grief support group?
When grieving the death of a loved one, we face difficult adjustments—behaviorally and socially, too.
If you (or someone you care about) are grieving, joining a grief support group can help you:
• Understand your emotional reactions and work through these adjustments
• Feel safe to express yourself in a supportive, caring environment
• Learn to practice self-care and manage your life as you journey through the healing process
Remember, the other people participating in the group are in the same boat as you. And although the environment is comfortable and informal, sessions are structured and purposeful. The goal is to empower you to gain an understanding of the grieving process and learn how to cope and move forward in normal, healthy ways. Learn about Samaritan’s upcoming, free Grief Support Group or contact us at info@samaritancounseling.net or 412.741.7430
Feelings of sadness and loneliness due to loss, or heightened anxiety as we try to balance work, spending, travel plans and events are normal. Taking a few moments each day to pray, practice mindfulness, breathe deeply and focus on what’s most important in our lives will relieve those feelings and motivate us to move forward.
But for those who suffer from debilitating conditions like depression, phobias, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolarity and other serious conditions, the solution is not so simple. To make matters worse, people dealing with these issues may be caught up in a cycle of abuse, poverty or severe anger and behavioral problems—within themselves, family members or in the workplace.
Remember—mental or emotional pain is very real. It quite often interferes with daily living, impairing one’s thoughts, decisions, reactions and ability to function.
How do you know if you or someone you care about needs professional help? Sometimes it is difficult to know for sure—especially since the sufferer’s thoughts and feelings are already impaired.
Nevertheless, there are things to look for. Signs of depression include withdrawal, frequent crying, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, fatigue, insomnia or sleeping too long. There are many types of anxiety disorders—and sometimes depression is accompanied by anxiety. People with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) react more intensely than a situation warrants. They are unable to relax; they startle easily and have problems concentrating. Physical symptoms can include fatigue, headaches, aching muscles, difficulty swallowing, twitching, lightheadedness and feeling out of breath. Panic attacks cause sudden bouts of sweatiness/dizziness/breathlessness and rapid heart pounding. PTSD symptoms can include nightmares, flashbacks, acts of aggression or violence. (nimh.nih.gov)
The things mentioned above are just the tip of the iceberg. Only a healthcare professional can properly diagnose and treat mental disorders. But recognizing that something is wrong and seeking help are the key first steps toward coping, healing and reclaiming health and happiness in your life. Don’t wait. Act now!
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) provides a wealth of information. Visit www.nimh.nih.gov to learn more.
Beth Healey, Director of Development and Marketing
In addition to mental and emotional pain—which often involves shock, regret, anxiety, confusion and even guilt—our physical selves experience sleeplessness, difficulty breathing, headaches, loss of appetite, digestive dysfunction and more. Think about it…each of these things alone can be debilitating. Now put them all together and it’s not surprising that our suffering is so great.
It’s also important to take notice of symptoms that indicate “abnormal” grieving, or that the grief has evolved into clinical depression. Although everyone has his/her own way of grieving—and there is no “set time” for the grieving process to last—there are things we can look for that may point to serious problems on the horizon.
For example…let’s say it’s been months since your friend has suffered the loss of someone she was very close to. You are surprised by the disheveled way she looks. You are troubled by her increasing alcohol consumption. She is barely able to function or focus on day-to-day activities, often staying in bed for days at a time. In fact, her loss is the only thing she focuses on. It’s obvious she is consumed by hopelessness and sadness. She barely leaves the house or associates with anyone—even her family and best friends.
The fact is that normal grieving lessens over time—not worsens. Without help, a person suffering from some or all of the behaviors described above may become suicidal. Under these circumstances, professional counseling is essential. A trained counselor will help you to gain coping skills and begin to heal. Recovery may seem impossible, but it definitely is not!
OK, what if it’s been three months since your loss, and although it still hurts a lot, you feel you are slowly moving forward. Why is it still helpful to join a grief support group?
When grieving the death of a loved one, we face difficult adjustments—behaviorally and socially, too.
If you (or someone you care about) are grieving, joining a grief support group can help you:
• Understand your emotional reactions and work through these adjustments
• Feel safe to express yourself in a supportive, caring environment
• Learn to practice self-care and manage your life as you journey through the healing process
Remember, the other people participating in the group are in the same boat as you. And although the environment is comfortable and informal, sessions are structured and purposeful. The goal is to empower you to gain an understanding of the grieving process and learn how to cope and move forward in normal, healthy ways. Learn about Samaritan’s upcoming, free Grief Support Group or contact us at info@samaritancounseling.net or 412.741.7430
Feelings of sadness and loneliness due to loss, or heightened anxiety as we try to balance work, spending, travel plans and events are normal. Taking a few moments each day to pray, practice mindfulness, breathe deeply and focus on what’s most important in our lives will relieve those feelings and motivate us to move forward.
But for those who suffer from debilitating conditions like depression, phobias, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, bipolarity and other serious conditions, the solution is not so simple. To make matters worse, people dealing with these issues may be caught up in a cycle of abuse, poverty or severe anger and behavioral problems—within themselves, family members or in the workplace.
Remember—mental or emotional pain is very real. It quite often interferes with daily living, impairing one’s thoughts, decisions, reactions and ability to function.
How do you know if you or someone you care about needs professional help? Sometimes it is difficult to know for sure—especially since the sufferer’s thoughts and feelings are already impaired.
Nevertheless, there are things to look for. Signs of depression include withdrawal, frequent crying, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, fatigue, insomnia or sleeping too long. There are many types of anxiety disorders—and sometimes depression is accompanied by anxiety. People with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) react more intensely than a situation warrants. They are unable to relax; they startle easily and have problems concentrating. Physical symptoms can include fatigue, headaches, aching muscles, difficulty swallowing, twitching, lightheadedness and feeling out of breath. Panic attacks cause sudden bouts of sweatiness/dizziness/breathlessness and rapid heart pounding. PTSD symptoms can include nightmares, flashbacks, acts of aggression or violence. (nimh.nih.gov)
The things mentioned above are just the tip of the iceberg. Only a healthcare professional can properly diagnose and treat mental disorders. But recognizing that something is wrong and seeking help are the key first steps toward coping, healing and reclaiming health and happiness in your life. Don’t wait. Act now!
The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) provides a wealth of information. Visit www.nimh.nih.gov to learn more.
Beth Healey, Director of Development and Marketing
Monday, June 30, 2014
Silent Samaritan program
Dear Friends,
Are you familiar with our Silent Samaritan program that subsidizes care for women in need? If you’re asking yourself why this is so important or how you can possibly help, we have the answers for you.
Approximately 65% of Samaritan’s clients are women. We provide subsidized care to at least half of these women because they do not have the resources to pay. Why are so many women in urgent need of counseling? Consider these facts:
Depression affects approximately 12 million U.S. women a year.
About 1 in 8 women can expect to face depression in her lifetime, most likely during age 25-44. Depression is not however, a “normal experience” or a “female weakness;” it is a legitimate mental health issue that can be successfully treated.
Anxiety disorders often accompany depression. The Anxiety Disorders Association of America reports that, “women are twice as likely as men to suffer from anxiety.”
Now you maybe asking, why is this the case? Well, multiple sources estimate that 250,000 American women suffer abuse each year. Furthermore, 22 million women in the U.S. have been raped in their lifetime (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010). Also, women are 29% more likely to be poor (National Council for Research on Women). All these factors create the perfect storm for risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
This is where we come in: here at Samaritan we offer exceptional care for the psychological and emotional damage caused by these devastating conditions and more. According to Samaritan’s Clinical Director…“Women are still doing too much. They’re taking care of everyone but themselves, which leaves them depleted and exhausted. Additionally, many women are carrying around unresolved traumas from their past, afraid to ‘voice their wounds.’”
It is clear why women are being overwhelmed by mental health concerns like depression; they do not stop and take care of their own needs. But, taking care of self is often a financial nightmare for many women. We at Samaritan provide excellent care to all women in need, regardless of their ability to pay. However, we cannot do this alone. We need your help to continue to provide outstanding subsidized care to women in need—hence, Silent Samaritan Program.
Through the Silent Samaritan program, caring people contribute funds to help subsidize counseling fees for women in crisis who cannot afford to pay. You do not have to be affluent to help; our Lord calls us all to help those in need anyway we can. There are many different levels of giving if you want to take part in this important program. Learn more!
Help women in need to “voice their wounds” and overcome depression and more. Become a Silent Samaritan today!
With hope & healing,
Via
Are you familiar with our Silent Samaritan program that subsidizes care for women in need? If you’re asking yourself why this is so important or how you can possibly help, we have the answers for you.
Approximately 65% of Samaritan’s clients are women. We provide subsidized care to at least half of these women because they do not have the resources to pay. Why are so many women in urgent need of counseling? Consider these facts:
Depression affects approximately 12 million U.S. women a year.
About 1 in 8 women can expect to face depression in her lifetime, most likely during age 25-44. Depression is not however, a “normal experience” or a “female weakness;” it is a legitimate mental health issue that can be successfully treated.
Anxiety disorders often accompany depression. The Anxiety Disorders Association of America reports that, “women are twice as likely as men to suffer from anxiety.”
Now you maybe asking, why is this the case? Well, multiple sources estimate that 250,000 American women suffer abuse each year. Furthermore, 22 million women in the U.S. have been raped in their lifetime (National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010). Also, women are 29% more likely to be poor (National Council for Research on Women). All these factors create the perfect storm for risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
This is where we come in: here at Samaritan we offer exceptional care for the psychological and emotional damage caused by these devastating conditions and more. According to Samaritan’s Clinical Director…“Women are still doing too much. They’re taking care of everyone but themselves, which leaves them depleted and exhausted. Additionally, many women are carrying around unresolved traumas from their past, afraid to ‘voice their wounds.’”
It is clear why women are being overwhelmed by mental health concerns like depression; they do not stop and take care of their own needs. But, taking care of self is often a financial nightmare for many women. We at Samaritan provide excellent care to all women in need, regardless of their ability to pay. However, we cannot do this alone. We need your help to continue to provide outstanding subsidized care to women in need—hence, Silent Samaritan Program.
Through the Silent Samaritan program, caring people contribute funds to help subsidize counseling fees for women in crisis who cannot afford to pay. You do not have to be affluent to help; our Lord calls us all to help those in need anyway we can. There are many different levels of giving if you want to take part in this important program. Learn more!
Help women in need to “voice their wounds” and overcome depression and more. Become a Silent Samaritan today!
With hope & healing,
Via
Friday, May 9, 2014
Article About Depression
I ran across a very interesting article about depression which presents many facts that everyone would benefit by knowing. What I found a bit unsettling were a lot of the comments that followed. There were, however, a few that were quite accurate. Depression is a disorder. It is real. It is painful. It is debilitating. Left untreated, depression is often deadly because the sufferer takes his/her own life. The good news is that depression is treatable. Medication and therapy relieve the awful symptoms and help sufferers stabilize and begin to recover. The stigma often associated with depression is one of the main reasons people may be reluctant to seek help. I am not surprised that--as the article indicates--more Americans die due to suicide than auto accidents. If you have never suffered from depression, or are not aware of the medical facts about this illness, you may have misconceptions about it. Depression is not: a normal part of life; a sign of weakness; occasionally feeling sad; always due to a person's circumstances. Famous people such as Eleanor Roosevelt and Winston Churchill suffered from it. If you or someone you know is exhibiting signs of depression, please do not ignore the symptoms and seek professional help. Life is too short and too precious not to!
Beth Healey, Director of Marketing and Development
Beth Healey, Director of Marketing and Development
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