Winter

By Hannah Perry

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

 – Albert Camus

Living in Pittsburgh and struggling with seasonal depression most of my life, you can see why this is one of my favorite quotes. The doldrums of winter can hit people hard in different ways. It gets darker earlier and the sky rarely offers the pure blue sunshine bliss.  A stagnant gray sky seems to appear and never disappear. In these times it’s important to remember that the sun will still shine. You may not always see it, but it’s there and this is only a season (unless you live in Alaska where the sun really doesn’t come up for days at a time).

Please also remember that seasonal depression, known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real disorder that can improve with therapy.  Maybe it’s time to start light box therapy, get your Vitamin D levels checked, regularly exercise, eat healthier, and schedule an appointment with one of our licensed counselors. And remember, there is always hope.

Anger Management

Anger. It’s something all of us experience. Although unpleasant, it is a normal human emotion. Is anger good? Is it bad? Should we hold it in? Let it out?

Just about everyone has heard of anger management, but do you know what anger management therapy entails? Let’s back up. First, let’s explore the ways we express our anger.

We can choose to express our anger in healthy or unhealthy ways. Frequently flying off the handle, screaming, spewing abusive words, throwing things and punching holes in the wall are obviously unhealthy expressions of anger. But so is bottling it all up inside, ruminating about what made us angry and refusing to speak to the person we’re angry with. In other words, both aggressive and passive anger are detrimental to ourselves and to others.

Unhealthy anger makes us—well—unhealthy. Headaches and stomach aches, high blood pressure, cardiovascular problems, anxiety, depression and impaired judgment are just a few of the health issues that can evolve from unhealthy anger. Worse yet, uncontrolled anger frequently leads to broken relationships and acts of violence.

But there is help. Anger management therapy helps us learn techniques to calm down, redirect our energy and develop healthy communication skills and coping strategies. It helps us explore the roots of our anger and recognize our triggers and physical symptoms. Group therapy for anger management provides the opportunity to share and learn from each other. Individual therapy for managing your anger is also effective.

Do you or someone you know need help managing your anger? If you’re not sure, read these nine bulleted items. Most importantly, know that you’re not alone. Just like all of our counseling and program services, Samaritan’s Anger Management Program provides hope and healing to get you to a better place—emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

Your Holiday: Merry or Maddening?

Once again, the holidays are upon us. Along with pumpkin pies, squealing children running around, and lots of hugs and laughter come the inevitable not-so-fun moments. Are there people around your table you would rather not see if you could help it? Those who always seem to say something critical? Those who won’t even speak to each other?

Strained and broken relationships among family members are often difficult to repair—and it is rarely possible to accomplish this during an annual gathering. But there are things you can do to make it better.

 

Bonnie Artman Fox, whose career has included working as a licensed therapist as well as a registered nurse, is the founder of A Conscious Choice through which she teaches skills to deal with difficult people and situations. She has wise and thoughtful advice for those who are struggling with family issues during the holidays. In a nutshell, Bonnie advises giving a “heart gift…”

“…compassion instead of a comeback…a smile instead of sarcasm…affirming words instead of attacking words.”

OK, this can be really tough to do—especially when you’ve been deeply hurt by someone. The following is a quote Bonnie shares that could make it easier for you:

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”  - Thich Nhat Hanh

While extending compassion, forgiveness—even tolerance—for a few hours on one or two days out of the year might be doable, it likely will not restore the relationship(s). But it will make the day more pleasant for everyone.

Try it. If it goes well for you, then consider taking another step. At Samaritan Counseling Center, our therapists are trained to help families and couples to improve—and often restore—damaged relationships.

Give family counseling a try. Yes, it’s hard work—there’s no magic involved! But all the people who got professional counseling and are now gathering at their holiday tables sharing love, peace and happiness will tell you that it was well worth their efforts.

First Responders

We are all familiar with the term “first responders.” But did you know you can be a “mental health first responder?”

I recently participated in a workshop entitled Mental Health CPR. Presented by the National Alliance on Mental Illness—NAMI—this program equips you to respond effectively to someone who is having a mental health crisis.

A mental health crisis can take the form of a:
•    Panic attack
•    Emotional breakdown
•    Delusional episode

There are right ways and there are WRONG ways to interact with a person in the midst of a mental health crisis. We might think we would know what to say and do, but I can assure you that when faced by someone in the midst of such a crisis, we are likely to become tongue-tied or say or do the exact opposite of what we should.

For example, if a person with major depression is describing a situation to you while sobbing uncontrollably, your natural response might be something like, “Oh, this happens to everyone. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine tomorrow.” Or, “I understand how you feel. Let me tell you what happened to me…” Although you may think you are offering comfort, your comments will likely come across as belittling—and cut like a knife.

Here’s another example. A person with schizophrenia may be hallucinating and hearing voices. He or she may tell you that there are aliens nearby, ready to attack. In an effort to reassure the person, you might be inclined to say, “There’s nothing to worry about. There are no such things as aliens—that’s just your mind playing tricks.” You would be wrong again!

The wrong responses have the real potential to escalate the situation. NAMI has an acronym: ALGEE, which stands for:
•    Assess if the person is on the verge of self-injury or suicide
•    Listen without judgment
•    Give information and reassurance
•    Encourage professional help
•    Encourage self-help and other supportive strategies

There’s a lot of information that accompanies these five directives, hence the need for a one-to-two day training course on Mental Health CPR. Putting this training into practice has the power to save a life. Learn more...

“She will probably spend Christmas alone…because she chooses to isolate herself.”

Anyone who reads my writings knows that they tend to be upbeat and encouraging. Today, however, I am feeling sad for someone I care about. She is suffering from depression—but just cannot face it. I have explained to her that she should seek help to get better, but not only does she hate to go to doctors, but she continues to deny that there is anything mentally/emotionally wrong.

She will probably spend Christmas alone—not because she hasn’t been invited by her family—but because she chooses to isolate herself. I cannot recall the last time she has said anything positive. She never talks about having any friends, nor does she go anywhere except to work, the grocery store and the laundromat. As for having company or engaging in any conversations outside of work—I’m it.

I’ve decided that I’m not going to ever give up on her. I am going to continue to lovingly reach out. For instance, I am inviting her again to a Christmas gathering—even offering to take her home as soon as she wishes to leave.

If anyone reading this knows someone who is in denial and continues to suffer, whether it be from depression, addiction, PTSD, etc., I hope for your sake and theirs that they will see the light and seek professional help. This IS the season for miracles! Check out http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/05/08/9-best-ways-to-support-someone-with-depression/

Be Happy in Spite of It All

As we sipped our coffee during one of our Thursday after-work get-togethers, a friend and I were talking about not-so-merry family issues that inevitably arise at holiday gatherings. Past hurts still lurking in people’s minds…sibling rivalries… the in-laws that don’t get along…the “big mouth”…the “Debbie Downers”…the show-offs…the folks that drink too much…no need to go on ‘cause I’m sure you get the picture. You’re probably thinking about the issues you know you’ll be facing in the days ahead.

As I shared with my friend, I have firmly decided that I am not going to let any situation detract from the spirit of Christmas. I am going to be happy! And I don’t mean by pretending that something uncomfortable really didn’t happen or by dealing with it in some other unhealthy way. I am going to put any indiscretion that may occur into a little box in my mind. The label on the box will say: The Imperfections of Being Human.

I can still be happy even when we humans display our faults and weaknesses. I can apply this attitude every day, not just on holidays. I can still be happy even though the world we live in is filled with injustice, pain and sorrow. I can still be happy and bring happiness to others in spite of it all. I’m determined to stay strong and stick to my goal.

And guess what? When I find myself slipping, I will forgive myself and move forward. When I feel sad or scared or nervous or angry, I will allow myself to feel those feelings because they are real and I am justified in feeling them. But then, I WILL MOVE FORWARD. I will always seek truth, happiness and love. I will make the most of this life God has given me.

I challenge anyone reading this to give it a try. Who knows, you may just become a happier person!

Check out this cool article on creating your own happiness…

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/08/21/5-small-ways-to-create-your-own-happiness/

Ladies, are you still burning yourselves out?

More than half of Samaritan’s clients are women. We asked Martha Selleck, our Clinical Director, to talk about women’s greatest needs.

“Women are still doing too much! They’re taking care of everyone but themselves, which leaves them depleted and exhausted. Typically, the women we see are caring for kids and aging parents,working at a full time career plus volunteering and dealing with marriage issues.

“As a result, they’re suffering from anxiety and depression. Many turn to self-medicating with food or alcohol. They find themselves caught in a vicious cycle and don’t know how to stop it. We help women sort things out and learn how to find more time for themselves—including their spiritual growth.

“Also, many women are carrying around unresolved traumas from the past, afraid to ‘voice the wounds.’ They will tell us, ‘I’ve never told this to anyone!’ Things like sexual abuse are often revealed for the first time to their therapist. Once they come to the surface and are addressed, hope and healing can begin.”